It's never the same anymore.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

That morning was really an unpleasant one for me. I don’t like it when I log into your msn and I’m appeared blocked inside. Probably in the first place I’m not suppose to intrude your privacy. But I didn’t know why I always has the urge to just log into yours and take a look. Probably like what I always say. I don’t trust you is one thing. Yesterday you said trust is what a relationship need isn’t it? Yes I totally agree with you. Trust is important. But I trust you with everything in the beginning didn’t I? you are the one who actually betray it. You lie to me in the first place. So this is the hint that is telling me that I shan’t trust you that much right? I’m sorry to say all those.But I’m just typing out what I felt. Couple having quarrel is normal. But not normal when the guy lie to the girl. Definitely there must be a reason behind all those lies? Yesh. White lies all of you call it, But can you people put yourself in my shoe and empathize me. I don’t feel good either. Although I’m always the one who is picking up a fight, but at the same time I’m really hurt. I’m the one that is more hurt than him I suppose. You guys won’t know what kind of emotions I’m going through. Don’t tell me that you’ve gone through a long relationship and you understand. It’s hard to explain what state I’m really in therefore I don’t see what you actually understand. (: BUT I appreciate all those concern greetings and questions. (:

<----- This was the post for 25.07.06.

I'm feeling bored now. Very bored. although i'm meeting him for lunch later before he go down to his shi guan. I felt damn bored though meeting him everyday? it's like i can't live without him. zzz. He make me feel so weak. Why? hmmm i didn't know why though. (: .

Can't judge a book by it's cover isn't it? hahas. Photogenic. Gosh. lotsa people have photogenic faces. BUT in real life.. hahahahas.. =x shan't mention much lahs. if not later i kana box =x. hahas.

I'm going for lunch already. I'll probably continue later when i feel like (:

Thursday, July 20, 2006

am i being stupid for sheding tears because i miss him too much? he's only gone for 2 days i'm already like that. gosh. i guess i'm really too dependent on him. No messages from him, no regular phone calls make me so reckless. Everyday when he's in singapore i'll not be surprise if he calls me i'll not feel anything. But when he's not by my side i waited by my phone. Don't want to miss any of his calls. And i simply am waiting for his call the entire day. gosh i'm missing you darling. So badly.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

it's been quite long since i update. i'm lazy guys. x) i've always wanted to update. i've come to the new post page but when i typed gee.. i don't know how to continue. hahas.
geee.. it's not a good day. cause i've got to get my clothes and shoe but i'm simply too lazy to go out therefore i can't care much about it. And we sort of quarrel. uh. that sucks but ya he hate me for being like that and i hate him for being like that. so.. things got messy. i don't like last minute things, probably you don't know about it so i'm telling you now. What if i've planned something in advance? it's not the first time though. (: uh.. But it's ok though i'll get use to it soon isn't it? i can't ask for much when he's the one who is always giving in. i'll jus keep quiet from now on then. i'll go with what he wants. No more NO from kim then. (:

Sunday, July 09, 2006

I'm feeling very bored now. nothing to do. Everything is like fixed and life is so BORING! it's raining outside means going out will be damn troublesome. gosh. Do you think i will manage to get a pants today for my presentation tomorrow? i guess that should not be a problem isn't it? gee.. i felt so bored la. zzz.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Sometimes i'm wondering is it that a lady like her is being childish or is it that it's better this way? i can't be bothered anyway. BUT i'm just wondering~ how could someone like her be so childish. Probably it's cause that she's jealous. *laughs* Probably we're too loving and she can't stand it. yesterday you told me she once told you that if you continue chasing after her she'll probably accept you? What's the use of regreting when he's already found me and you've already found him. hmm. no offences i'm just writing what i felt FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. Everybody has their limits, and if you want to play hard to get like me then bear the consequences don't regret and don't complain. It can be rather irritating at times. And franky speaking, yesterday afternoon conversation is not him it's me. I'm replying on behalf of him . I don't understand why a person retardness can be due one day. *shake head.

I went back to her friendster page and i "flipped" back the pages till the testimonial that ben wrote to her before being with me. Although i've felt something like heartache but it's past like what he said. He's changed. She's changed. His love for her is not there anymore. Alright how about me saying sorry for being affected by things that had already past? You said she's changed to someone like who she is now. I don't know who she is and how she's like from the beginning. So i can't judge. BUT after yesterday i was totally annoyed by the way she talks about her nightlife. What's there to show? *roll eyes. Are you showing me that you need sympathy? Like what you've said yesterday, your guy treated you better and he's better than ben so go to him and leave MY ben alone. No point asking him to show you sympathy when he's no time for you. Phew~ done for the moment x)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

girls are so funny. After broke up they treated their "guy" so weirdly. Probably give them some information about themselves and want some sympathy from him? hahas. weird isn't it. probably i'm also like that but not to this extent saying that i'm lalalalas.. alright. i shan't mention it . hahas.

Talking to "her" there is a new challenge for me. it's how i handle all my feelings and probably i'll find out new stuff right? hahas.. but everything is perfectly fine. i'm fine.. hahas. so recently it has been. yupp.. recalling is the best word and i've won is the best excuse (: but everything is so magical isn't it? hahas.. everything like erm.. let me THINK..fake. (:

alrite. trust is always touch and go when something i don't want to happen. Probably talking to her really affect me but i insist in talking to her. Cause i want to know everything. Why do you call her out of the blue withouth any reasons. Is my handphone off? Am i not there for you? those are the questions that pop out of MY head when i saw that fucking sentence. hahas. Sometimes what i show is not what i wanted. Don't say you understands me well when you're the one who upset me the most (:

Monday, July 03, 2006

It was just yesterday when i felt that kind of dislike. not hatred but dislike.what the hell am i talking about? -.- gee.. the house is so noisy with all the drilling noises. *cover ears*

alright here goes... Yesterday ben was talking about his 21st birthday chalet. yupp. then we mentioned about irene. He told me he was confuse whether to call her or not. like what ah boi say, be a gentleman. call her.It's up to her to come or not. As your gf, when you asked me about that, in my mind i was thinking if she come will she feel weird cause last few years she's the main lead for the whole event. Then this year i'm taking over her role so there will be a sort of weird feeling between the three of us isn't it? uh huh. Weird huh.. Then he did mention about her bringing her boyfriend. (:

Yesterday i was talking to kym about the dinner stuff and she was like kind of agitated and after that conversation i realise i actually didn't really like "her". probably it's not pure dislike, i guess there must have alot of complications in it. yup. And about the lawyer stuff i totally agree with kym. It's totally ridiculous relying too much on your lawyer when you have a mouth. xD.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Now i realise i'm much happier when my friends are around me. I just felt kind of weird now. Seems like everything is wrong. probably it's me who is the one being sensitive and all those again. Ya definitely it is BUT why will i suddenly have this feeling? You said you're worry, uh huh yes you are but when i called you while i'm walking home you simply asked me to call you back when i reached home. what the fuck? it's like 3am in the morning and i'm walking home alone and you didn't want to accompany me on the phone. What else are you busy with? geee.. I'm just kind of disappointed and wondering if you're really worry or you said it for the sake of saying. What's the rush for hanging up? If you're on the other line tell me... i'll keep quiet and hang up. Not another word. I'm utterly disappointed.....

And i'm wondering if you've really hated him or is it that you've hated him cause he got her. If you hated him for having her then you should ask yourself why she choose him instead of you. Please grow up and think about all these that is happening around you. Why him and not you isn't it? There must be something very wrong that you don't achieve what she wanted. Go think about it. If you really hated him for who he is then ok. i'm fine with it. But another advise, when you hate someone you're making yourself suffer. ((: it's like what kym always say, " hating a person = making myself hurt ". No point~


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Hosts: x o xo.	Sunday, July 30, 2006 That morning was really an unpleasant one for me. I don’t like it when I log into your msn and I’m appeared blocked inside. Probably in the first place I’m not suppose to intrude your privacy. But I didn’t know why I always has the urge to just log into yours and take a look. Probably like what I always say. I don’t trust you is one thing. Yesterday you said trust is what a relationship need isn’t it? Yes I totally agree with you. Trust is important. But I trust you with everything in the beginning didn’t I? you are the one who actually betray it. You lie to me in the first place. So this is the hint that is telling me that I shan’t trust you that much right? I’m sorry to say all those.But I’m just typing out what I felt. Couple having quarrel is normal. But not normal when the guy lie to the girl. Definitely there must be a reason behind all those lies? Yesh. White lies all of you call it, But can you people put yourself in my shoe and empathize me. I don’t feel good either. Although I’m always the one who is picking up a fight, but at the same time I’m really hurt. I’m the one that is more hurt than him I suppose. You guys won’t know what kind of emotions I’m going through. Don’t tell me that you’ve gone through a long relationship and you understand. It’s hard to explain what state I’m really in therefore I don’t see what you actually understand. (: BUT I appreciate all those concern greetings and questions. (: <----- This was the post for 25.07.06. I'm feeling bored now. Very bored. although i'm meeting him for lunch later before he go down to his shi guan. I felt damn bored though meeting him everyday? it's like i can't live without him. zzz. He make me feel so weak. Why? hmmm i didn't know why though. (: . Can't judge a book by it's cover isn't it? hahas. Photogenic. Gosh. lotsa people have photogenic faces. BUT in real life.. hahahahas.. =x shan't mention much lahs. if not later i kana box =x. hahas. I'm going for lunch already. I'll probably continue later when i feel like (: 12:08 PM · Thursday, July 20, 2006 am i being stupid for sheding tears because i miss him too much? he's only gone for 2 days i'm already like that. gosh. i guess i'm really too dependent on him. No messages from him, no regular phone calls make me so reckless. Everyday when he's in singapore i'll not be surprise if he calls me i'll not feel anything. But when he's not by my side i waited by my phone. Don't want to miss any of his calls. And i simply am waiting for his call the entire day. gosh i'm missing you darling. So badly. 10:51 PM · Sunday, July 16, 2006 it's been quite long since i update. i'm lazy guys. x) i've always wanted to update. i've come to the new post page but when i typed gee.. i don't know how to continue. hahas. geee.. it's not a good day. cause i've got to get my clothes and shoe but i'm simply too lazy to go out therefore i can't care much about it. And we sort of quarrel. uh. that sucks but ya he hate me for being like that and i hate him for being like that. so.. things got messy. i don't like last minute things, probably you don't know about it so i'm telling you now. What if i've planned something in advance? it's not the first time though. (: uh.. But it's ok though i'll get use to it soon isn't it? i can't ask for much when he's the one who is always giving in. i'll jus keep quiet from now on then. i'll go with what he wants. No more NO from kim then. (: 9:22 PM · Sunday, July 09, 2006 I'm feeling very bored now. nothing to do. Everything is like fixed and life is so BORING! it's raining outside means going out will be damn troublesome. gosh. Do you think i will manage to get a pants today for my presentation tomorrow? i guess that should not be a problem isn't it? gee.. i felt so bored la. zzz. 4:35 PM · Wednesday, July 05, 2006 Sometimes i'm wondering is it that a lady like her is being childish or is it that it's better this way? i can't be bothered anyway. BUT i'm just wondering~ how could someone like her be so childish. Probably it's cause that she's jealous. laughs Probably we're too loving and she can't stand it. yesterday you told me she once told you that if you continue chasing after her she'll probably accept you? What's the use of regreting when he's already found me and you've already found him. hmm. no offences i'm just writing what i felt FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. Everybody has their limits, and if you want to play hard to get like me then bear the consequences don't regret and don't complain. It can be rather irritating at times. And franky speaking, yesterday afternoon conversation is not him it's me. I'm replying on behalf of him . I don't understand why a person retardness can be due one day. shake head. I went back to her friendster page and i "flipped" back the pages till the testimonial that ben wrote to her before being with me. Although i've felt something like heartache but it's past like what he said. He's changed. She's changed. His love for her is not there anymore. Alright how about me saying sorry for being affected by things that had already past? You said she's changed to someone like who she is now. I don't know who she is and how she's like from the beginning. So i can't judge. BUT after yesterday i was totally annoyed by the way she talks about her nightlife. What's there to show? roll eyes. Are you showing me that you need sympathy? Like what you've said yesterday, your guy treated you better and he's better than ben so go to him and leave MY ben alone. No point asking him to show you sympathy when he's no time for you. Phew~ done for the moment x) 7:49 PM · Tuesday, July 04, 2006 girls are so funny. After broke up they treated their "guy" so weirdly. Probably give them some information about themselves and want some sympathy from him? hahas. weird isn't it. probably i'm also like that but not to this extent saying that i'm lalalalas.. alright. i shan't mention it . hahas. Talking to "her" there is a new challenge for me. it's how i handle all my feelings and probably i'll find out new stuff right? hahas.. but everything is perfectly fine. i'm fine.. hahas. so recently it has been. yupp.. recalling is the best word and i've won is the best excuse (: but everything is so magical isn't it? hahas.. everything like erm.. let me THINK..fake. (: alrite. trust is always touch and go when something i don't want to happen. Probably talking to her really affect me but i insist in talking to her. Cause i want to know everything. Why do you call her out of the blue withouth any reasons. Is my handphone off? Am i not there for you? those are the questions that pop out of MY head when i saw that fucking sentence. hahas. Sometimes what i show is not what i wanted. Don't say you understands me well when you're the one who upset me the most (: 4:11 PM · Monday, July 03, 2006 It was just yesterday when i felt that kind of dislike. not hatred but dislike.what the hell am i talking about? -.- gee.. the house is so noisy with all the drilling noises. cover ears alright here goes... Yesterday ben was talking about his 21st birthday chalet. yupp. then we mentioned about irene. He told me he was confuse whether to call her or not. like what ah boi say, be a gentleman. call her.It's up to her to come or not. As your gf, when you asked me about that, in my mind i was thinking if she come will she feel weird cause last few years she's the main lead for the whole event. Then this year i'm taking over her role so there will be a sort of weird feeling between the three of us isn't it? uh huh. Weird huh.. Then he did mention about her bringing her boyfriend. (: Yesterday i was talking to kym about the dinner stuff and she was like kind of agitated and after that conversation i realise i actually didn't really like "her". probably it's not pure dislike, i guess there must have alot of complications in it. yup. And about the lawyer stuff i totally agree with kym. It's totally ridiculous relying too much on your lawyer when you have a mouth. xD. 11:12 AM · Sunday, July 02, 2006 Now i realise i'm much happier when my friends are around me. I just felt kind of weird now. Seems like everything is wrong. probably it's me who is the one being sensitive and all those again. Ya definitely it is BUT why will i suddenly have this feeling? You said you're worry, uh huh yes you are but when i called you while i'm walking home you simply asked me to call you back when i reached home. what the fuck? it's like 3am in the morning and i'm walking home alone and you didn't want to accompany me on the phone. What else are you busy with? geee.. I'm just kind of disappointed and wondering if you're really worry or you said it for the sake of saying. What's the rush for hanging up? If you're on the other line tell me... i'll keep quiet and hang up. Not another word. I'm utterly disappointed..... And i'm wondering if you've really hated him or is it that you've hated him cause he got her. If you hated him for having her then you should ask yourself why she choose him instead of you. Please grow up and think about all these that is happening around you. Why him and not you isn't it? There must be something very wrong that you don't achieve what she wanted. Go think about it. If you really hated him for who he is then ok. i'm fine with it. But another advise, when you hate someone you're making yourself suffer. ((: it's like what kym always say, " hating a person = making myself hurt ". No point~ 3:20 AM ·