It's never the same anymore.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

originality

toking to Mr Zeng now.. i've been rather use to him bahs.. hahas.. cos tis few daes he's the one hu is always there ((:.. thanks.. today not much lors.. sch having half day. hahas.. in the morning.. maths..chi machiam no lesson lyk tt.. zzz.. then a blink of an eye .. sch end -_- .. damn bored.. SHIT LORS! i fail sci.. zzz.. forever lors.. don't tok about it.. hahas.. todae after sch went tamp.. ate kfc. hahas.. was damn full.. then c food onli wan vomit.. hahas.. tt's my onli meal of the dae.. ((: .. then went ade hse play majong.. hahas.. diongs.. it's kinda habit liao.. *die.. aha.. i win money todae. alrite. hmm. actualli win or lose nth de bahs.. it's jus de process.. don't get too upset .. it's jus a game ((: .. b patient! hee.. and u'll win.. don't get too agitated.. play majong i always v quiet. hahas.. cos concentrating mahs. den habit le. my mama de genes.. cos she everytime play majong oso v quiet de.. hhas (:

todae he went buy 4d.. -_--.. i tot 4d onli uncle and aunt de game.. hahas.. he tel me i shock lors =x.. hahas.. he bought my bday and his.. haha.. diongs.. but did not win lahs.. hmmm. i tink my bday v difficult to win de lors.. hahas.. tt time wp's father oso buy my bday and wp de .. but then oso didn win.. hahas.. anyway.. i'm tiring of blogging.. hahas.. gdnites peeps~

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

AIDAN IS GUAI!

i'm yawning like mad now. don't know why so tired..mayb todae study whole dae tt's y bahs.. hee.. hmmm.. todae mrs sim was angry i tink.. she's being sarcastic at fes.. but due to smth she flare up.. and tt's scary.. me .. ade.. and mt stand there dunno wan sae wad.. then at last mrs sim ask us go.. then we go fes le.. then mr sin .. zerong they al there toking le.. scary lors.. diongs.. we're suppose to come back for night class for art.. and we did.. but she didn tell de sec 5 got wor.. hmmm.. weird.. then she oso not in sch.. then we sit in canteen do art lors.. bo bian.. hahas.. then do til 9 lyk tt.. we pack up and leave le bahs.. alot of funny things happen lah.. hahas.. was kinda waiting for zeorlc to reply my msg though. hahas.. but he's outside.. so it's alrite ((: .. todae on the way home at rnd 5 plus he called me ((: and we chatted for awhile.. hahas.. til i reach home bahs.. yupp yupp.. hmmm.. then i reached home from night class it's about 10 plus le.. then i called him.. hahas.. cos he ask me call mahs =x.. hahas.. theni call lors.. he stil outside mahs.. then i pei him til he reach home.. haha.. he live 11 storey! =x .. hahas.. alrite.. i'm lame.. hee.. AIDAN V GUAI TODAE LORS.. hahas.. i ask him go help me find mummy cos i was locked outside de hse.. then he run into the hse.. after awhile.. he came out with no one following him -__-.. but then cute wad.. hahas.. ((:.. so mux praise.. hee..

alrite.. i'm real tired.. i can't realli tink of anything nw.. hahas.. all i tink is my bed.. hahas.. yeah ((:.. gdnites ppl

Saturday, September 24, 2005

I sat down and wept

By the River Piedra i sat down and wept. there is a legend that everything that falls into the waters of the river -leaves, insects the feathers of birds- is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed. I could tear out my heart and hurl it into the current, then my pain and longing would be over, and i could finally forget.

By the River Piedra i sat down and wept. Thr winter air chills the tears on my cheeks, and my rears fall into the cold waters that course past me. Somewhere, this river joins another, then another, until - far frm my heart and sight - all of them merge with the sea.

May my tears runs just as far, that my love might never know that one day i cried for him. Mya my tears run just as far, that i might forget the River Piedra, the monastry, the church in the Pyrenees, the mists, and the paths we walked together.

I shall forget the roads, the mountains, and the fields of my dreams - the dreams that will never come true.

I remember my "magic moment"- that instant when a "yes" or a "no" can change one's life forever. It seems so long ago now. It is hard to beliebe that it was only last week that i found my love once again, and then lost him.

I am writing this story on the bank of the River Piedra. My hands are freezing, my legs are numb, and every minute i want to stop.

"Seek to live. Remembrance is for the old," he said.

perhaps love makes us old before out time - or young. if youth has passed. but now can i not recall those moments? That is why i write - to try to turn sadness into longing, solitude into remembrance. So that when i finish teling myself the story, i can toss it into the Piedra that's what the woman who has given me shelter told me to do. Only then- in the words of one of the saints- will the water extinguish what the flames have written.

All love stories are the same.

i think this is nice ((: enjoy.. it's from a book may lee gave me.. (: By Paulo Coelho.. i sat down and wept.

Friday, September 23, 2005

I HATE THE WAY IT IS!

i'm feeling very moodless nw.. why izzit that you have to tell everybody about the thing that happened in the family? WHY!? you have face mehs tis way.. do you feel real comfortable telling everybodi wad u believes in.. onli u tink tt way.. all de others wil tink u're crazy lors.. everytime sae al those topid 'maybs' and u tink he's realli there to harm u.. cursing u to die earli.. if he realli wnana do tt he can do tt long ago wad.. he wun spend so much money for ur operations and medicines.. y do u tink he'll spend al those money on u if he wan u dead long ago..

can money realli solve everything? can money buys happiness? i totalli disagree with tis sentence lors.. i TOTALLY DISAGREE! so wad if u have money.. so wad?! u're not happy wad.. money can't buy happiness.. when u quarrel it's al about money .. money money money is al u tink.. i understand it's ur hard earned money.. but mux u realli react to tt extent ? wad advantage wil u b getting if u do tt..?

i realli hate saying al these things.. but nw i'm boiling inside.. how do i face de neighbours next time?! did u ever tink it'll affect every one of us? did u? AIDAN is my dog.. i told you not to feed him human food.. he cldn't adapt to human food.. and oily stuff makes him puke..ans he vomits almost everytime after u fed him.. i'm realli not happy seeing him puking everytime.. the sight of it makes my heart ache.. he vomitted jus nw.. it's alot.. and u scolded him.. u tot he pee in the hse.. it's vomit u noe.. and it's ALOT! u jus wun listen.. u wun understand.. ask u not to give u give.. he's falling sick u noe.. everytime he do tis not tt tt makes u unhappy u ask me sell him away or give him away.. wad the hel... while blogging tis i can even hear u scolding him.. cursing him. WAD IS TIS?!

if tis continue the way it is..i'm gonna break down one dae.. i jus hate the way i'm living now..

ALVIN's DAY!

BOO! it's alvin bday todae! HAPPY BDAY BOY! ((: finally 18 le wor.. hee.. ltr going out chill wit ur frens bahs.. enjoy! hee.. ((:

hmmm.. nw i'm in may lee hse.. hahas.. they're playing majong and i'm here using com.. hahas.. yeah.. and i'm having headache since yst night! -_-.. hahas..todae i was realli quiet lors.. in sch.. ((: dunno y lah.. mayb cos not feeling too well.. and some thoughts are starting to accumulate in my mind bahs.. hmmm... rather sensitive or izzit 'bu fu qi' .. smth lyk tt bahs.. i shld tel u wad happen when i reach home.. hahas.. it's not good telling u al nw.. cos i'm feling rather uncomfortable.. ((: .. hmmm... alrite.. yst was a terrible dae as i have a terrible night.. slp v early yst night lyk 845? zzz.... and i woke up almost every one and the half hour.. zzz.. yst night i had alot of dreams.. hahas.. and they're all so interesting.. hahas.. i even dreamt of a v cute hp tt i was using.. hahas.. damn cute.. hahas.. and playing majong while walking -__-.. hahas.. cute lahs.. i duno how to sae ((:

oH.. they are lyk so noisy lahs.. hahas.. they 'aiya' 'aiyo' 'ARGH' hahas.. so noisy! hahas... hmmm. jus nw on they way to may lee hse they bully me lors.. ming ming zhi dao my chi not good stil bully me.. zzz.. they al al chi pro lors.. hahas.. then bully me one chi bu hao de.. hahas.. alrite lahs.. i stop here le.. i oso dunno wad to sae le.. feelings not nw lahs.. not in tis atmosphere.. hahas ((:

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Trapped

Sitting at the corner of my spacious room, i heard the howling of the wind. Being lonely at that point of time, I am trapped in my own thoughts.

On the first Saturday of year 2004, i had a horrible experience with my father. it was a beautiful night and everything was going well until the momnet i stepped into the house at about ten o'clock that night. i was called to the study room where my father was. he had a very furious expression on his face and at that point of time, i felt that he would scream at me any moment as i did not inform him that i was going out that day.

At first, i thought he would just nag at me for awhile, instead he insulted me and my friends. At the beginning, he said that i am becoming from bad to worse as time passed. I was not very pissed by this at first until he insulted my friends. i got very agitated. Out of anger, he screamed at me saying that i had been mixing around with bad companies. i felt very insulted by that and i argued back. this was the first time in my life i argued with my father and he was very angry about it. Within a minute, he rushed out of the room, took a wooden stick from the balcony and he threatened to hit me with that stick. i was taken aback when he threatened me with a wooden stick. i was thinking ' how can you bear to hit me with a WOODEN STICK, who am i to you?' I kept quiet for awhile and he threw the stick onto the computer table.

After that, about half an hour or so of arguing, he gave me two choices. one was to get out of the house and the other was to send me into the girl's home. For me, i choose to get out of the house. I rushed into my room, got hold of my passport and i packed my bag ready to leave when suddenly someone grabbed me tightly, it was my father. He looked much more furious than before, he threw my bag onto the floor and asked me where do i think i'm going. i ignored him and wanted to pick up my bag but a slap on my face stopped me from doing so. He yelled at me and locked me up in my room.

That night i was crying silently in bed when the door of my room open. My mother came in to comfort me and i told her i felt very helpless of my father's attitude ever since the day he returned from his business trip a week ago. i told her i have been trapped in the thoughs of committing suicide, and i didn not want to be one of the family anymore as i was the only one whoe was being treated that way.

After the talk with my mother that night, my mood did not change for the better. instead i was in the state of depression. Being trapped in the thoughs of committing suicide, i tried all ways to die but failed.

After a few unsuccessful attempts, my mother sent me to a councilor. she would spend hours talking to me which made me felt better after every session of talking. she became my best friend. she led me out of my own trap and made me a much more cheerful person today. And life is much easier for me and my father now.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Pearlyn, Shi hua, coldy's dae

life is meaningful. very meaningful.. sy ask me is life meaningfull or not.. and why.. i thought for awhile..and realli tink tt life is realli meaningful although sometimes many topid tings happen to us.. and we wil think tt life is sucky in a sense.. but if there's no sucky times u wun learn frm ur mistake isn't it? ((: when there's a mistake made u wil somehow learn smth bahs.. tt's wad i tink lahs ((:.. so.. life is meaningful after all.. hahas

todae is pearlyn and shi hua bday.. hahas.. happy bday gurls.. ((: nw me at popo hse.. so long didn come le.. jus nw irene ma jus ask me wao.. u wan come mehs.. u lyk everytime oso didn come de.. lyk once in a yr?.. dots.. i didn noe wad to sae.. hahas.. felt quite bad though.. tt time new yr she sae she tot my mama onli got 2 daughter.. cos everytime i oso didn come then she forgt al about me.. sad arhs.. )): .. haiis.. it's ok then.. todae is oso coldy bday.. but then so long didn c roger kor they al le.. s0 sad arhs..c os of some misunderstanding.. my papa ask them dun come to my hse le.. cos ltr quarrel again.. haiis.. new yr becky jie oso didn come.. zzz.. forgt it.. i'll get to v them one day bahs ((:.. and hope coldy is fine.. ((:

yst nite i dreamt of alot of tings.. i can remember in the morn when i woke up.. but nw i onli can remember one part of it.. which is i dreamt of kenneth kor calling me.. hahas.. asking me y do i msg him when he's in camp.. hahas.. then i told him .. oh.. no lah.. i msg u to wih u good luck in ns and take care ((:... i care alrite.. hahas.. hmm.. yst kenneth kor went into ns.. hahas.. alrite.. i didn c him off.. cos i'm stil slping? hmmm.. heard tt it's his gf hu send him there.. hahas.. anyway.. good luck in ns arhs.. take care too ((: wil miss ya...

alrite.. i've been rather sensitive tis daes lah.. hahas.. dunno y oso.. hahas.. mayb pms.. haha.. alrite.. shan't tok much about tis.. hahas.. ((:

Thursday, September 08, 2005

zzz

TODAY IS AGNES JIE BDAY! HAPPY BDAY! hee.. she asked kristal they al go out shopping yst.. hahas. and they agreed lahs.. arbo they al stay at home oso sians.. then kristal suggested to watch movie.. but agnes jie was there.. *nonono.. ltr half way i wanna give birth how? hahas. then we al pengs.. hahas.. but i tink de baby is coming out v soon.. hhaas.. it's already 8 mths ((:

I'M SICK OF MY LIFE -__-

Monday, September 05, 2005

((:

today i woke up kinda late and was obviously late for physic lesson therefore he doesn't allow us to go in. me.ade.may was locked outside. hahas.. it's us again. -_-.. we waited for awhile lahs. then he sae c us tml. no need wait then we walked off? went to LP for breakfast.. alrite.. poor poor de ade and me was depending on may to feed us. hahas.. but we wil return may lee money alrite.. hahas.. not sae we those type take ppl money won't return.. hahas . then we tok about de vampire show for awhile then went to toilet .. went home.. hahas.. ade going to watch 'one more chance' todae.. wit her parents.. cool.. hahas.. i've not watch a movie wit my dad b4. hahas. and it's been so long since i last seen a movie wit my mum too.. hahas ((:

today eugene didn go for work. he msg me in the mornin telling me he might have sprain his leg.. hmmm.. he sae it might b a pull in the muscle.. he's a stubborn idiot.. ask him go c doc dun wan.. zzz.. then ask him dun g out he go out.. *slaps lahs.. todae slp whole dae.. dunno y so tired.. zzz. tonight mux slp earlier.. cos tml is gonna b a long dae.. and mux go sch earli.. hahas ..

tml is oso yucheng and raine's 3rd month being together.. hmmm.. congraulation arhs.. ((:.. being together for 3 months. i tink they oso went through quite alot of up and downs le bahs. ((:. after 2 yrs finalli being together.. tt's a long time lors.. 2 yrs.. if it's u can u wait for 2 yrs? *smiles.. enjoy ur dae tml!

Sunday, September 04, 2005

The Happiness Factor

Abraham Lincoln said, "people are as happy as they decided they are going to be." Ye, being happy is a choice! When you wake each morning, you can choose to feel grumpy or feel happy. When something does not go your way, you can choose to feel disappointed and sad about it, or tell yourself that things will work out fine eventually. Thus, whether you feel down in the dumps, or floating in the air, it is your choice. We say, 'Choose to be happy!'

We all know that yawn is contagious, but do you know that a smile is even more contagious? Remember how you broke into a grin when your friend greets you with a smile? So smile at someone else, see it grow into a grin on his/her face, and know that you've made a difference to their day.

Very often, we do something that someone wants us to because we are afraid to upset or disappoint them, but end up feeling unhappy in the process. Make a stand - do something for yourself and only because you want to. you will feel happier knowing that you are in control of your life.

Do something that you enjoy - learn a new skill; lose yourself in a dance; watch three movis in a row; treat yourself to a sundae or dessert; relax with a facial or massage;have a swim in the pool; soak in a bubble bath; curl up on the courch with your favourite book and a mug of hot chocolate; ring up your close mate for a long chat.

Want to watch an exciting movie but none of your friends are free to accompany you? Watch it by yourself! You don't have to worry about coordinating your schedule with your friends' , and you can throw in impromptu activities that you want to do along the way.

Whenever something lifts your mood, put it into your journal. It could be a photograph with your girl pals, the ticket stub of a movie you watched with your crush, inspirational quotes and sweet things that friends had said to you. Whenever you fel sad, these little mementos willi lift your mood again.

Friends are like the family you do not have. They care for you and brighten your day with their presence. Hang out with your closest friends, ask for a hug when you need one or write them a long letter about your weekend. Take the time to enjoy the simple pleasures of having someone to share your secrets with, exchanging bear- hugs and planning things to do together.

The only person's happiness you are responsible for, is you. You are not responsible for anyone else's happiness. So do not be troubled by other people's problems, yet do not be mean to anyone. Lastly, do not stay with someone because you want to make them happy even though it will make you sad - your unhappiness will show and affect the entire relationship.

Tell yourself that each time someone is mean to you or makes you feel bad. He/She is only one person as compared to the entire population of the world, and not everyone is a mean person. Perhaps He/She is secretly envious of you thus putting you down to make himself/herself feel better. It may be difficult if you have to meet them everyday. But jusy keep repeating the sentence and soon, you'll realise that they really are not worth it!

It's so easy to feel disappointed or sad when we do not achieve what we want. Sometimes, this can be a stoke of luck because whatever is meant to happen will happen, when it is meant to. And when it does, it will most probably be better than before.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Kiddy Nite

alright.. i've decided to update my blog in point form.. as in compo=x one point one para. so which para u interested in read that para.. not long mahs if not alot of words see liao oso sians.. hahas.. i'm clever yeah ((:

-called the wrong eugene and didn't realise it till he sae i called the rong no. I'M SORRY!
-wore slipper to sch due to my toe injury./ aces day/ teachers' day concert.
-at night met eugene.. went drinking..-__- went to my rock.
-tok..threw away my memories ((:
-walked to the playground/ eugene turn me arnd and i almost fall
-walked home/ mama called!
-conclusion_thanks eugene for the day! SMILE MORE!

alright. start off with this morning! i was suppose to wake eugene lee up lahs.. then i dailed the rong no. i called eugene chua. i didn't noe it was him at fes.. someone jus picked up the fone then i was there screaming asking him to wake up if not he's gonna b late for work.. then he'll start blaming me.. hahas.. hu noes it ended up to b eugene chua.. i was there so paiseh saying worry i called the rong no. then i faster hang up and i called eugene LEE! and he's already awke.. omg.. he made me so paiseh lros.. haahs.. alrite.. nvm.. btw.. i'm real sorry to wake u up yahs.. eugene CHUA! ((:

todae i wore slipper to sch as wad eugene ask me to. he sae got teacher socld he go sch help me scold the teacher.. hahas.. so furnie. alright..hmmm coz my toe injure.. zzz.. i hate it when my toe is injured.. zzz.. so troublesome.. alrite.. todae aces day.. zzz.. so sians lahs.. lucky no sun.. hahas.. then we did it in the shade.. hahas.. after that we went back to class for lyk one period of english lesson? -___- she took up mr seong period.. was lyk.. so toot lors.. zzz.. then we shouted happy teachers' day to SEong but we didn't do the same to her she was JEALOUS! woohoo =x.. hahas.. *grins..then we went for lyk concert? cool.. talent night winner were on stage! hahas.. cool man.. the 5 of us were really hyper lahs.. hahas.. sway our hands and stuff.. hahas.. not bad not bad.. making us high. hee.. last teachers' day liao wad.. wad to do? hahas ENJOY! then saw al de seniors.. they came back.. hahas.. saw ah oh too.. ((: hair long liao arhs.. look nicer lyk tt. hee.. hmmm

at night.. rnd 8 i met eugene at dunno whr.. near ger's de block there de bus stop.. it's lyk we wanna go beach lors.. then walked till dere meet him..silly him.. make me walked so far lors.. i'm limping silly!.. hahas.. but it's fun lahs.. haha.. we walked al de way to fisherman.. and from the time we meet til the time we reach fisherman he keep suaning me lors.. zzz.. hahas.. i was there *shut up.. hahas.. then so furnie lors.. he ordered a jug of tiger.. then i was lyk.. orhs.. hahas.. then i onli drank lyk 2 cups then i was zzz.. but i'm not kinda drunk lors.. hahas.. onli almost slp inside de toilet.. hahas =x but stil manage to walk str alrite.. i'm forcusing on walking str.. hahas.. then went to kimberly's rock . sat there for quite long.. then tok alot of stuff i suppose.. then he keep patting my head sae i silly.. -___.. lyk small kid lehs.. hahas.. alright i m.. *open eyes big big.. my eyes bigger! ((: then we decided to leave.. TOILET HERE WE COME! after tt we went playground.. climb the spider web then sat there awhile then decided to continue walking.. haha.. then came to tis turning ting.. then i stand on top.. sae cannt move de.. hahas.. then tt topid eugene he go turn me arnd.. and it's lyk so many rnds lors.. i felt lyk i'm falling off.. zzz.. the earth is MOVING! and i was walking slauntly for a few mins.. then eugene was holding me lahs.. in case i fall. hahas.. but i was alright after awhile.. hahas.. thanks! hmm.. then we walked to de downtown there.. on de way he piggy back me.. lol.. so fun .. but i was kinda scare.. he dunno how to carry me properly -__- cos he's holding my hp and his.. hahas.. then i was there.. ARGH! put me down lahs.. hahas.. iw as kinda uncomfortable though.. hahas.

yeah.. then we walked to 7-11.. get drink then walked home.. hahas.. he sent me home obviously..-____-.. hahas.. then he walked home lors.. hmm.. i did enjoy myself tdae.. hahas.. thanks eugene! hee.. 3 months ltr arh.. u got ur license u're gonna horn loudly arhs.. then i go down.. hahas.. then broom broom.. let's go let's go.. *smiles! tickles! ((:

MissKim`

Kiddy Nite