It's never the same anymore.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

I sat down and wept

By the River Piedra i sat down and wept. there is a legend that everything that falls into the waters of the river -leaves, insects the feathers of birds- is transformed into the rocks that make the riverbed. I could tear out my heart and hurl it into the current, then my pain and longing would be over, and i could finally forget.

By the River Piedra i sat down and wept. Thr winter air chills the tears on my cheeks, and my rears fall into the cold waters that course past me. Somewhere, this river joins another, then another, until - far frm my heart and sight - all of them merge with the sea.

May my tears runs just as far, that my love might never know that one day i cried for him. Mya my tears run just as far, that i might forget the River Piedra, the monastry, the church in the Pyrenees, the mists, and the paths we walked together.

I shall forget the roads, the mountains, and the fields of my dreams - the dreams that will never come true.

I remember my "magic moment"- that instant when a "yes" or a "no" can change one's life forever. It seems so long ago now. It is hard to beliebe that it was only last week that i found my love once again, and then lost him.

I am writing this story on the bank of the River Piedra. My hands are freezing, my legs are numb, and every minute i want to stop.

"Seek to live. Remembrance is for the old," he said.

perhaps love makes us old before out time - or young. if youth has passed. but now can i not recall those moments? That is why i write - to try to turn sadness into longing, solitude into remembrance. So that when i finish teling myself the story, i can toss it into the Piedra that's what the woman who has given me shelter told me to do. Only then- in the words of one of the saints- will the water extinguish what the flames have written.

All love stories are the same.

i think this is nice ((: enjoy.. it's from a book may lee gave me.. (: By Paulo Coelho.. i sat down and wept.


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