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Monday, May 29, 2006
daddy,
i've grown up, therefore you no need to control me too much you know? i know you care for me don't want me to return home late. But sometimes you must really understand that my friends and i are now seperated into different schools and we need time together. And the only time we have are weekends and after school which is night time therefore i'll be back home alittle later than before. I hope you understand though. i'm being very honest to you. i didn't lie to you. And i didn't do anything that will harm myself. (:
Kimberly.
geee.. today went out in the morning to ade place. hahas.. mahjong session again isn't it? hahas.. hmmm.. den after that met baby . went to eat swensen -.- hahas. was really full lahs.. he just bring me in like that lors. i thought he was kidding -.- who knows it's real. geeee.. hmmm.. today expenses really al he pay lors. he gave me 50 bucks to deposit into my account -.- hmmm.. felt so weird using his money so directly =x . hahas.. hao lahs. i've done my hmwk. hahas.. i shall go to bed now if not baby wil go ... woah woah woah again.. hahas.. ((: nites peeps
i've grown up, therefore you no need to control me too much you know? i know you care for me don't want me to return home late. But sometimes you must really understand that my friends and i are now seperated into different schools and we need time together. And the only time we have are weekends and after school which is night time therefore i'll be back home alittle later than before. I hope you understand though. i'm being very honest to you. i didn't lie to you. And i didn't do anything that will harm myself. (:
Kimberly.
geee.. today went out in the morning to ade place. hahas.. mahjong session again isn't it? hahas.. hmmm.. den after that met baby . went to eat swensen -.- hahas. was really full lahs.. he just bring me in like that lors. i thought he was kidding -.- who knows it's real. geeee.. hmmm.. today expenses really al he pay lors. he gave me 50 bucks to deposit into my account -.- hmmm.. felt so weird using his money so directly =x . hahas.. hao lahs. i've done my hmwk. hahas.. i shall go to bed now if not baby wil go ... woah woah woah again.. hahas.. ((: nites peeps
Friday, May 26, 2006
yesterday i went back to gvss with baby. he's simply so excited about going back and he pops out so many questions that i find it so irritating. laughs. when he's excited and nervous he's simply so cute can? *giggles. Those questions sounds like.. what if they throw me out? i can go in mehs? you sure? hahas.. those questions really make me go speechless. hahas..
hmmm went back to collect cert lors. then saw cerise they all.. hahas. they just finished their intensive chinese. gosh i misses those days lahs. hahas.. intensive mother tongue and stuff.. ((: night classes were the best. hahas.. hmmmm... after taking my cert we went loyang point to have our dinner. gosh.. LOYANG POINT! i miss that place also. hee.. i went kaffacha with him . the feeling is totally different lahs. without my KLKK the feeling is totally different. geee.. i miss you guys. heee... i misses those days we joked about prom in kaffacha. hahas. the 'no pets allow' and stuff. hahas..
time passes so fast. at a blink of an eye it's already poly 6th week. All of us are in different school. Different school means we've lesser time together and lesser time to joke. But we still meet up at least once a week to prevent missing each other too much. hee... All of us are currently busy for our coming test isn't it? gosh.. after all those quiz it's break for 2 weeks then go back school i'm having my common test. geeeee! stressed! =x hahas. maths is driving me crazy. hahas.. hmmmm
Baby says he wore till quite funny today. i shall see about it later and comment . hahas.. if it's really funny i'll make sure i'll laugh till my teeth drop =x hahas.. he's gonna kill me when he see this . hahas. he's gonna go ' u'll know later' again. hahas.. he's always like that isn't it baby? hahas.. *winks.
hmmm went back to collect cert lors. then saw cerise they all.. hahas. they just finished their intensive chinese. gosh i misses those days lahs. hahas.. intensive mother tongue and stuff.. ((: night classes were the best. hahas.. hmmmm... after taking my cert we went loyang point to have our dinner. gosh.. LOYANG POINT! i miss that place also. hee.. i went kaffacha with him . the feeling is totally different lahs. without my KLKK the feeling is totally different. geee.. i miss you guys. heee... i misses those days we joked about prom in kaffacha. hahas. the 'no pets allow' and stuff. hahas..
time passes so fast. at a blink of an eye it's already poly 6th week. All of us are in different school. Different school means we've lesser time together and lesser time to joke. But we still meet up at least once a week to prevent missing each other too much. hee... All of us are currently busy for our coming test isn't it? gosh.. after all those quiz it's break for 2 weeks then go back school i'm having my common test. geeeee! stressed! =x hahas. maths is driving me crazy. hahas.. hmmmm
Baby says he wore till quite funny today. i shall see about it later and comment . hahas.. if it's really funny i'll make sure i'll laugh till my teeth drop =x hahas.. he's gonna kill me when he see this . hahas. he's gonna go ' u'll know later' again. hahas.. he's always like that isn't it baby? hahas.. *winks.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
'He said i'm a big baby and he's my nanny. '
*laughters. We alighted the bus and i passed him my wallet and ezlink card. "Help me put it in thanks." Without saying another word, he slipped the card in and took my bag from me. He carried my bag and everything except me to his place. But on the way to his place he did mention about me being a big baby and he's my nanny. And he actually give me example of him being my nanny. *laughs.
Example 1: Help me carry my stuff like my bags, books, shopping bags.
Example 2: When i'm hungry he'll feed me.
Example 3: When i'm sad he'll cheer me up.
Example 4: He helps me with my work.
Example 5: He pampers me.
Example 6: He make sure i sleep comfortably.
Example 7: Clean my mouth when it's dirty (;
laughs. it sounds more like what a boyfriend should do isn't it? SO! BENJAMIN LO! you better not complain anymore! ((: it's what you should do alright. *grins
*laughters. We alighted the bus and i passed him my wallet and ezlink card. "Help me put it in thanks." Without saying another word, he slipped the card in and took my bag from me. He carried my bag and everything except me to his place. But on the way to his place he did mention about me being a big baby and he's my nanny. And he actually give me example of him being my nanny. *laughs.
Example 1: Help me carry my stuff like my bags, books, shopping bags.
Example 2: When i'm hungry he'll feed me.
Example 3: When i'm sad he'll cheer me up.
Example 4: He helps me with my work.
Example 5: He pampers me.
Example 6: He make sure i sleep comfortably.
Example 7: Clean my mouth when it's dirty (;
laughs. it sounds more like what a boyfriend should do isn't it? SO! BENJAMIN LO! you better not complain anymore! ((: it's what you should do alright. *grins
Monday, May 22, 2006
I felt guilty for making you cry, i felt guilty for making you sad. Bascially, i felt guilty for everything that i've done that led you to the lowest point.
starting my entry with me being so guilty for making a love one suffer with me. am i being too sensitive or is it that it's all true? yesterday night was a disaster, a nightmare.... it all happens when i said i felt insecure. And things started to get messy. At first i'm so agitated by all the lies that he's giving. And i'm blinded for the past one month. my words got harsh, i said all those lies can stop me from loving you at this moment. i hated people who lie to me.
I just don't understand why is there a need to lie to me about those stuff. i don't think it's a very big thing anyway but after you lie it's a big thing to me. To me a lie is a lie it doesn't matter how serious it was, it's still a lie . The purpose of lies are all the same isn't it? yup. Therefore no matter how little you weigh it, to me a lie is a lie.
Today i did not go to school. I walked out of the lift as usual, on my way to the bus stop i recieved a telephone call. 'Baby' appeared on the screen and i picked up his call. All he say was, baby i'm sorry one more chance? U turn. And he hung up. i was confused i stopped walking and looked back he was standing there looking so shag. He walked towards me asking if i could accompany him for the day and not go to school. i thought for very long and agreed. So we went to the bus stop and waited for shawn to pass him ade's and my admin card. After doing so, we went to some place to sit down and he gave me a bunch of flower. Although they're not real and not very presentable but it did make me smile for a moment and think that he's cute (: he said : "i searched the whole night for things to give you but i couldn't find. I only found this. *smile*"
But a moment of smile leads to many moments of confusion and pleading. On the way to the hospital, we kept quiet. Nothing was said. But after we reached, he led me to the garden and he started talking to me and so on. this part can't be told cause it's confidential (: After about half an hour of pleading i felt so sad, guilty and i don't know what i accepted his apology and gave him another chance. And so... It's a happy ending (:
starting my entry with me being so guilty for making a love one suffer with me. am i being too sensitive or is it that it's all true? yesterday night was a disaster, a nightmare.... it all happens when i said i felt insecure. And things started to get messy. At first i'm so agitated by all the lies that he's giving. And i'm blinded for the past one month. my words got harsh, i said all those lies can stop me from loving you at this moment. i hated people who lie to me.
I just don't understand why is there a need to lie to me about those stuff. i don't think it's a very big thing anyway but after you lie it's a big thing to me. To me a lie is a lie it doesn't matter how serious it was, it's still a lie . The purpose of lies are all the same isn't it? yup. Therefore no matter how little you weigh it, to me a lie is a lie.
Today i did not go to school. I walked out of the lift as usual, on my way to the bus stop i recieved a telephone call. 'Baby' appeared on the screen and i picked up his call. All he say was, baby i'm sorry one more chance? U turn. And he hung up. i was confused i stopped walking and looked back he was standing there looking so shag. He walked towards me asking if i could accompany him for the day and not go to school. i thought for very long and agreed. So we went to the bus stop and waited for shawn to pass him ade's and my admin card. After doing so, we went to some place to sit down and he gave me a bunch of flower. Although they're not real and not very presentable but it did make me smile for a moment and think that he's cute (: he said : "i searched the whole night for things to give you but i couldn't find. I only found this. *smile*"
But a moment of smile leads to many moments of confusion and pleading. On the way to the hospital, we kept quiet. Nothing was said. But after we reached, he led me to the garden and he started talking to me and so on. this part can't be told cause it's confidential (: After about half an hour of pleading i felt so sad, guilty and i don't know what i accepted his apology and gave him another chance. And so... It's a happy ending (:
Friday, May 19, 2006
Today i went to school myself alright. shawn was in his gf house therefore it's not shun lu. hahas.. therefore i took a bus there.. was alittle late . but it's better than not attending right?hahas. hmmm.. In the bus i've got nothing better to do isn't it? therefore i thought of some weird question-.-. hmmmm.. how does it feels like being a vegetarian? you know those kind. not those kind that only eat vegetable -.- hahas.. it's those disable kind. yup. how do they feel? is their brain working properly? hmmm.. don't know lehs? vegetarian only can't move the body part right? -.- hahas.. i'm kinda of mixed up. laughs.
alright enough of my load of rubbish. hmmmm.. sometimes bluffing your way through isn't a very clever thing to do because you'll get caught no matter how you try to avoid.why not say the true instead? probably everything will be better when you say the truth than the lies? haiis.. there's people saying that you're not realiable. when there's a why you'll give thousands and thousands of excuses and i will be convince and believe you in the end. sometimes i really didn't know if it is wrong to believe you . =(
alright enough of my load of rubbish. hmmmm.. sometimes bluffing your way through isn't a very clever thing to do because you'll get caught no matter how you try to avoid.why not say the true instead? probably everything will be better when you say the truth than the lies? haiis.. there's people saying that you're not realiable. when there's a why you'll give thousands and thousands of excuses and i will be convince and believe you in the end. sometimes i really didn't know if it is wrong to believe you . =(
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Dearest May,when i saw that post in your blog i was totally stunned. guilt creeped all over me and tears welled up in my eyes. it's the least expected that this will happen on you my friend. i didn't mean to miss that call. i was asleep that night and i totally regret for not calling you back when i woke up the next morning. i'm truely sorry. i failed to be there for you when you need me the most, i'm speechless and i've nothing to say to you except one word 'sorry'. i really didn't know how to tell you how i felt as we're drifting is one thing the second is that i felt guilty. i promised there won't be a next time. Please cheer up (:
After seeing yucheng so sad and taoli being stronger i felt like telling ben everything that had happened to them and how i felt about us. but i don't know why i just can't lahs. i can't express myself well i suppose and the words just can't come out. Baby, there's just one thing you can make sure of. my feelings for you are real and i love you dearly ((:
After seeing yucheng so sad and taoli being stronger i felt like telling ben everything that had happened to them and how i felt about us. but i don't know why i just can't lahs. i can't express myself well i suppose and the words just can't come out. Baby, there's just one thing you can make sure of. my feelings for you are real and i love you dearly ((:
Saturday, May 13, 2006
i know it's hard to let go a year of relationship.. but come to think about it at least you guys have spent one year together right? memories are forever keep inside. Since she've decided to tell you that she still has feelings for her ex so be it lors.. no use forcing her to be by your side anymore cause her heart is no longer with you agree? But if you really love her and you can't live without her, win her heart back. DON'T sit there crying and see her leave just like that. Do you think that by being so sad and crying for weeks can bring her back to your side? no right. so be strong ((: we're always by your side supporting you and lending you our ears.Anyway, do cheer up yahs ((:
geee... life isn't easy with all these things happening around us. ok come back to myself. things are kind of sucky this few days due to the damn misstan. but everything is fine now lahs. i won't let her ruin my life just like that (: . she's not someone that should affect my feelings. she's nothing to me.
i'm going shopping with baby tomorrow! wheeee... hahas.. hmmmm.. baby baby baby you're really stupid lahs. got bitten by a centi while slping. gosh who ask you go field slp.. ppl go there getting ready to shoot and u slping. slap u arhs.. hahas.. ((: hao lahs.. you better take good care of my phone arhs.. wahahahas =x if not... i'll make sure you get it from me (:
geee... life isn't easy with all these things happening around us. ok come back to myself. things are kind of sucky this few days due to the damn misstan. but everything is fine now lahs. i won't let her ruin my life just like that (: . she's not someone that should affect my feelings. she's nothing to me.
i'm going shopping with baby tomorrow! wheeee... hahas.. hmmmm.. baby baby baby you're really stupid lahs. got bitten by a centi while slping. gosh who ask you go field slp.. ppl go there getting ready to shoot and u slping. slap u arhs.. hahas.. ((: hao lahs.. you better take good care of my phone arhs.. wahahahas =x if not... i'll make sure you get it from me (:
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
ok.. since i've already tell him alittle i shall kind of pour out everything here.i know that what i'm going to say later on ain't nice but i'm sorry. it's just what i felt. here it goes...
i'm just pure jealous of you and her. probably it's just that i can't accept the fact that u're not fully mine. understand what i mean? it's like i know you can't let go a 5.5 years relationship so easily although you said u had. i wasn't really convinced by that statment. caused by the effort and the determination of getting her back i can see how much she meant to you. i can't comment about that and i know i can't force you to forget. it's just that i'm jealous, probably afriad.
i just simply don't like it when you tell me something. it makes me go thinking that you gave her up because you've no choice and be with me to forget her. i don't really mind if you really treat me as a substitute for you to forget her love. but what if you really treat me as one but you still can't forget her love instead you throw me aside as well? what am i to do? i'm jus purely afriad...
I'm afriad of you treating me so nicely. Treating me so good only make me dependent on you. this scares me cause what if one day u're gone and i'm all alone, what am i going to do without you? i'll get lost. it's like being in a deserted place with nobody around to help me, no signboards to indicate where i should go and no light source to show me the way.. what if... don't tell me once there it's always there. cause there's always this 50 50 possibility. nothing is fixed, everything can be changed. it's just the matter of time baby.
I'm always thinking what if one day she come back to you. what are you going to say. did you ever thought of all this question yourself? at the very start you say you totally gave her up you won't look back even if she comes back. but i doubt...
i'm just pure jealous of you and her. probably it's just that i can't accept the fact that u're not fully mine. understand what i mean? it's like i know you can't let go a 5.5 years relationship so easily although you said u had. i wasn't really convinced by that statment. caused by the effort and the determination of getting her back i can see how much she meant to you. i can't comment about that and i know i can't force you to forget. it's just that i'm jealous, probably afriad.
i just simply don't like it when you tell me something. it makes me go thinking that you gave her up because you've no choice and be with me to forget her. i don't really mind if you really treat me as a substitute for you to forget her love. but what if you really treat me as one but you still can't forget her love instead you throw me aside as well? what am i to do? i'm jus purely afriad...
I'm afriad of you treating me so nicely. Treating me so good only make me dependent on you. this scares me cause what if one day u're gone and i'm all alone, what am i going to do without you? i'll get lost. it's like being in a deserted place with nobody around to help me, no signboards to indicate where i should go and no light source to show me the way.. what if... don't tell me once there it's always there. cause there's always this 50 50 possibility. nothing is fixed, everything can be changed. it's just the matter of time baby.
I'm always thinking what if one day she come back to you. what are you going to say. did you ever thought of all this question yourself? at the very start you say you totally gave her up you won't look back even if she comes back. but i doubt...
Monday, May 08, 2006
today everything is per normal isn't it? school time table is fix and we guys got to follow it. so nothing special . nothing particular happen today as well so i've got like nothing to say lahs. but i feel like blogging so bear with me a little while. hahas
alright. yesterday i didn't meet baby lahs. cause i was like so tired plus i'm lazy to go out. yup. and er.. i didn't think much yesterday lah.. i can't be bothered. hahas.. i'm more into sleeping lahs. hahas.. and my dvds.. yup.. hmmm.. this few days got rather sensitive lahs. but i don't intend to tell him lahs.. wait till i realli sensitive to that extent then we'll see about it bahs.. hahas.. ((;
sometimes, you can't trust someone that much plus you can't love a person that much. you'll hurt yourself in the end. correct me if i'm wrong. but can you like control it? aiya.. forget it lahs. follow your heart ((:
alright. yesterday i didn't meet baby lahs. cause i was like so tired plus i'm lazy to go out. yup. and er.. i didn't think much yesterday lah.. i can't be bothered. hahas.. i'm more into sleeping lahs. hahas.. and my dvds.. yup.. hmmm.. this few days got rather sensitive lahs. but i don't intend to tell him lahs.. wait till i realli sensitive to that extent then we'll see about it bahs.. hahas.. ((;
sometimes, you can't trust someone that much plus you can't love a person that much. you'll hurt yourself in the end. correct me if i'm wrong. but can you like control it? aiya.. forget it lahs. follow your heart ((:
Sunday, May 07, 2006
suddenly there's this thinking of me having to be accept by them pop out in my head. probably it's a crazy thought and he would probably say no to it. hmmm.. it's just that everytime it start from all those rubbish isn't it? ((: nvm.. i'll get use to it though. i'm like back to all those days with those sensitive stuff flowing through my bloody brain. they just won't let me off isn't it? geee..
alright. school is fine. everything is fine. yahs... i realise people do change very fast. no matter how great that person seems to be she just changed. yupp.. i didn't really want to talk about it here, was rather disappointed lahs. life.. zzzz.. i'm getting bored of it already. everyday same place and there's always this same thing to do. can't life be a little more interesting for me? gosh..*slap head. sooo long people. i'm gonna continue watching my dvd. *winks
alright. school is fine. everything is fine. yahs... i realise people do change very fast. no matter how great that person seems to be she just changed. yupp.. i didn't really want to talk about it here, was rather disappointed lahs. life.. zzzz.. i'm getting bored of it already. everyday same place and there's always this same thing to do. can't life be a little more interesting for me? gosh..*slap head. sooo long people. i'm gonna continue watching my dvd. *winks
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
THE OUCH EFFECT IS BACK!! =((
Monday, May 01, 2006
NORMAL REACTION: OUCH! =((